So, this is going to be a very cerebral blog post. Actually, it will be very strange, as I don’t fully understand what is happening to me. Here goes nothing:
Anyone that knows me, isn’t surprised that I am a emotional person; I’m a social worker in training, the person friends go to for advice, and normally very level headed. Typically I control my emotions very well and display them with equal ease. This ability allows me great advantages in situations, but it also grants me disadvantages; such as, arguments with my boyfriend. For some reason he says that I listen to what he says, then twist everything around, confuse him, then win. I’m obviously not trying to “win” anything, however, if that is his reality I need to change. That is a perfect example of how being very self-aware is a disadvantage.
With my emotional state prefaced, let me explain what I’ve recently been experiencing: color emotions. It is no shock that with further exploration into my career as a social worker, I will tap into more complexities involving the way I cope/experience different emotions; but color emotions? It has happened very sporadically over the last five months but more frequently over the last few weeks. Basically, I will find myself in a situation, normally a happy one but occasionally an angry one, and I can feel color. It’s WEIRD, I know. Instead of expressing or even having to wonder what the mood is, I see and feel colors. I swear I don’t consume any psychedelic drugs!!! I simply, close my eyes see the mood (aka color), then open then, and it surrounds me.
I’ve tried to do a quick google search of what is happening to me, but to no avail. I actually didn’t know what to search for, which is the purpose of this post. I even debated on whether or not to post anything, but it is how I express things in my life: by writing. So this is step one, admitting that I have a problem. 🙂
What happens next? I suppose I will try and feel the “color emotions” more frequently. I had one last night, which was the final straw and what prompted me to address it today. I was laying in bed with Ian, after watching a horribly sad movie, and as he made me the baby spoon, I felt the color orange. It was a happy feeling, laced with the remnants of the sadness I’d absorbed from the movie. It was nice and relaxed me.
Although, I don’t know much about how this new phenomenon works, one thing that is worth noting is that “color emotions” usually occur when I have a deficiency in my normal functioning abilities (e.g. I’m sleepy, drunk, or otherwise compromised). So, is it possible that when I’m lacking in one area that my “color emotions” pick up the slack? Time and research will have to see! Until then, I guess I should just drink more? Maybe tomorrow at the Red Dress Run, I’ll experience something other than the color red?!
Thanks for bearing with me!