Lately, I’ve been struggling with the idea of “having it all”. It has been lingering in my thoughts of months, but lately has become more prevalent. I know, I know. I shouldn’t want more when I have such a great life, but I do. The idea of making concessions with myself is absurd, and quite frankly, I refuse to do it. Bethany Frankel did it, why can’t I?
I have so many things I want to accomplish, yet I want to be able to flow through life without neglecting a certain passion just to increase the likelihood of another. I’m sure, as I mature, these choices will become easier to make or I’ll figure out exactly what I want, but until then… I’m on the quest for complete satisfaction.
While embarking on such quests, I’ve learned that I love the ocean. Mainly, because it’s the only thing that makes me feel small… I stand corrected. Yesterday, I visited Lyon’s Notre-Dame-de-fourivere, and to say the least, it was awe inspiring. It is hard for me to accurately capture and describe the feeling I felt being in the presence of such greatness, but from the moment I stepped into this magnificent building, all my previous insecurities of completeness or “having it all”, dissipated and slowly floated towards the ceiling with the smoke from the prayer candles. I’ve never felt such comfort or euphoria. For 30 minutes, I didn’t worry about my path or my future; I was exactly where I was suppose to be, and everything in my life was perfect. My new goal is to no longer be on a constant search for something I have no control over. Yes, I need sensible/profitable life choices– duh. But I’m referring to my inner happiness. I want more moments that make me think: “this is perfect. right here, right now, can’t be anything less than a miracle”.
Cheers to finding miracles.